Feeling Out of Control: How Poor Affect Regulation Fuels Unhealthy Behaviours
We all experience difficult emotions. Anger, sadness, fear, and anxiety are part of the human condition. However, how we respond to these emotions can significantly impact our lives. When we struggle to regulate our affect (our emotional state), we may resort to unhelpful, unhealthy, and even harmful behaviours.
What is Affect Regulation?
Affect regulation refers to the capacity to manage and modulate our emotional experiences. It involves:
Identifying and labeling emotions: Recognizing and accurately naming the emotions we are feeling.
Tolerating emotional discomfort: Withstanding unpleasant feelings without resorting to immediate avoidance or escape.
Flexibly modulating emotional intensity: Increasing or decreasing the intensity of emotional arousal as needed.
Directing and sustaining emotional attention: Focusing on and engaging with emotions in a constructive manner.
The Link Between Poor Affect Regulation and Unhealthy Behaviours
When our affect regulation skills are underdeveloped, we may:
Engage in impulsive behaviours: Such as substance abuse, overeating, or risky sexual behavior, to quickly escape or numb difficult emotions.
Exhibit aggressive or violent behaviour: Outbursts of anger, verbal or physical aggression, can result from feeling overwhelmed and unable to cope with intense emotions.
Engage in self-harm: Cutting, burning, or other forms of self-injury can be a desperate attempt to cope with emotional pain.
Experience chronic anxiety or depression: Difficulty managing anxiety or sadness can lead to persistent low mood, excessive worry, and social withdrawal.
Develop unhealthy relationships: Poor affect regulation can manifest in difficulties with communication, intimacy, and conflict resolution within relationships.
The Role of Self-Regulation and Co-Regulation
Self-regulation: This refers to our internal capacity to manage our emotions. It involves developing skills such as mindfulness, emotional awareness, and self-soothing techniques.
Co-regulation: This involves the support and guidance we receive from others in managing our emotions. Secure attachments in childhood provide a foundation for co-regulation, where caregivers help children learn to soothe themselves and understand their emotions.
Improving Affect Regulation: 3 Key Strategies
Mindfulness Practices: Mindfulness involves cultivating present-moment awareness without judgment. Practices like meditation, deep breathing, and yoga can help increase emotional awareness and improve our ability to tolerate difficult emotions.
Research Support: Numerous studies have demonstrated the effectiveness of mindfulness-based interventions in reducing anxiety, depression, and improving emotional regulation (e.g., Kabat-Zinn, 1990).
Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT): DBT is a form of psychotherapy that emphasizes skills training in mindfulness, distress tolerance, emotion regulation, and interpersonal effectiveness.
Research Support: DBT has been shown to be highly effective in treating borderline personality disorder, which is characterized by significant emotional dysregulation (Linehan, 1993).
Emotional Expression and Processing: Engaging in activities that allow for healthy emotional expression, such as journaling, art therapy, or talking with a therapist, can help us understand and process our emotions in a constructive way.
Research Support: Research has consistently shown that expressive writing and other forms of emotional processing can improve emotional well-being and reduce symptoms of anxiety and depression (Pennebaker & Beall, 1986).
If you or someone you know is struggling with these issues, consider seeking professional help. Therapists can provide guidance and support in developing healthier coping mechanisms and improving interpersonal relationships.
Crucible Personal Development is a private psychotherapy and counselling practice in Preston, Lancashire.
References:
Kabat-Zinn, J. (1990). Full catastrophe living: How to cope with stress, pain, and illness using the wisdom of your body. Delacorte Press.
Linehan, M. M. (1993). Cognitive-behavioral treatment of borderline personality disorder. Guilford Press.
Pennebaker, J. W., & Beall, S. K. (1986). Confronting traumatic events: Toward an understanding of inhibition and disease. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 54(1), 27-34.
